The Doctors Scottish Holiday
by Aslook
Summary: Crossover with Torchwood and Sarah Jane Adventures. The Doctor accidently lands in Scotland and you can be assured that adventures are assumed. The Title IS rubbish and will be replaced as soon as I can think of a better one.


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**_Me: _**A fic I was working on while visiting my aunt and cousin. I had left my laptop at home so I had to start this from scratch. And yes I know the Doctor has already meet the Loch Ness Monster, BUT, that before my time and I would LOVE to see him getting chased by an aliens pet! The name IS rubbish, I may change it later if some one can suggest a better one.

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**The Doctors Scottish Holiday**

The Doctor was running. For his life. Again.

As he was running, he thought to himself. What was it about him, that meant wherever, and whenever he went he ended up running for his life. I mean, he was a perfectly likable guy! Whenever he wasn't waist deep in trouble and, and or running for his life, people seemed to like him plenty. Unfortunately, that wasn't often.

Anyway, back to the running. There he was, running, for his life from some strange, lizard, dinosaur creature in the middle of Scotland. By the Loch Ness actually. (Well the rumors had to come from somewhere, didn't they!) Apparently, a spacecraft had crash-landed in Loch about a thousand years ago. Back then Nessie, lets call the creature Nessie, Nessie had been little less than an alien's pet, the size and temperament of a cat. And the intelligence of a piece of string. Harmless. But Nessie has evolved. She is bigger, stronger, and more vicious than ever. And even slightly sentient. Not much, just enough to say a few two letter sentences out. And chasing the Doctor.

"Feed me," Nessie was screaming, "FEED ME!"

Now normally that wouldn't have been any trouble. The Doctor would have been happy to feed it. It was alien and in trouble. 'Nuff said. However it decided to find some food for itself. Now that was a problem. Not the fact it had found food for itself. That was a good thing. It was the fact that Nessie was a carnivore. And the only meat around was, well I'm sure you can guess, was humans.

Now Nessie had been in the Loch for centuries. You might be wondering why it was now she decided to go on a feeding rampage. I think its best he tells you. Now the totally inadequate plot intro and explanation is finished, on with the story!

* * *

It all started in the TARDIS. Actually, these things always start in the TARDIS. It's like, fate always waits for him to be safe in the TARDIS, before flinging him headfirst into danger. But still, the TARDIS. He had just dropped Donna off back in Chiswick. After, well, I think we all know what. And decided he needed a holiday. He set the co-ordinates for Draconi in the Gramelias Sector of the Amelrius Galaxy. Famed for its beautiful beaches. And occasional Vampyre attacks. Okay. So not so occasional. Quite often actually. But what better way to keep entertained than running for your life. From a insane alien with a craving for your blood. Perfect.

But instead the TARDIS took him to Scotland in the year 2009. How was he meant to have fun in Scotland. Although he used to have a companion from Scotland. A boy called Jamie McCrimmon. That was a LONG time ago though. A couple of centuries in his case.

He stepped out of the TARDIS and saw where he was. And his face fell. Ah. He was in the middle of the Torchwood Estate. The manor house actually. With people. A lot of people. Soldiers. With guns. He put his hands up and waited for whatever was going to happen to happen. What he did not expect to happen however, was a small middle aged man with glasses to come tottering up through the soldiers, holding a glass of whiskey, obviously drunk.

"At lasht," He said his words slurred, assumedly by the whiskey (dunno what else it could be, don't really want to know either!), "The famoush Doctor I pweshume."

"Yes, hello! That's me!" The Doctor replies, his words full of false cheer, "And I reckon that seeing as you obviously know my name, it's only fair that I should know yours!"

"Archie Jones, 'ead of Torchwud two." He looks at the soldiers. "Take 'im to the valtsh."

"Oi!" The Doctor exclaims, "What have I done now!"

"Nothin' yet Doctor. I know what you did in Torchwud one in London, and Cardiff 'as gone renegade, all 'cause of you. I don't want any of your, influence 'ere."

"Let me go then!" The Doctor stares at Archie indignantly. He hears a noise behind him and spins around, putting his hands in his pockets. While he has been talking, someone has come along with a forklift and taken the TARDIS. They almost drop her and the Doctor grimaces, "What are you doing, leaver her alone!" I swear, at that moment, if looks could kill, Archie would dead ten times over.

Instead he scoffed.

"Her! Itsh a thing. An object." The Doctor walks up to Archie, with such fire in his eyes, even the soldiers baked up.

"The TARDIS is no mere thing. It is sentient, telepathic and…….."

"And moine. Valtsh boys."

After having checked their guns, the soldiers seemed to regain some of their confidence. Some. Not all. The Doctor assumed, that seeing as there was no-one around to see a skinny man in a brown pinstriped suit, being taken, by several soldiers, all with guns trained on him, to a secret Torchwood facility, that the manor house was shut down for the day. No tourists, staff, no-one.

The Doctor, as the journey seemed to take a while, decided to pass the time doing what he did best. Talking. He talked and talked and talked. About how the last time he was here he had to save Queen Victoria from an alien were-wolf. And how they hid from it in this room. And trapped it in that. And when they tried to tranquilize him to get him to shut up, how unfair it was to stick a needle in a persons arm while they are talking. And how you should always check that the tranquilizers you are using actually affect the species you are using them on.

Apparently Archie couldn't take it anymore. He took a gun from one of the soldiers, and hit The Doctor over the head with it, knocking him out cold.

"PEACE, AT LAST!" He exclaimed. (Yes I know he's sober now. Being with the Doctor when he won't shut up is enough to sober an army of drunks. It's that annoying.)

Although they did come across another hitch. For such a skinny bloke, the Doctor was heavy! And the soldiers couldn't decide who should be the one to actually carry him. Eventually it was all sorted out, and they got the unconscious Doctor to Torchwood.

There they checked his pockets for anything alien, or anything he could use to escape. Took his shoes, so if he did escape he wouldn't be able to run far. Dumped him in the cell and locked him in.

When he came to, he was slightly disorientated. As you would be if you had been knocked unconscious by a severely annoyed man using a gun as a club. So he wondered what he was doing in a grey cement room, with a wooden bench attached to a wall he assumed was to sleep on. With no shoes on. Then he realized.

"Bloody Torchwood." Under his breath, of course. The he saw the CCTV camera in the corner. Looked up and gave a BIG cheesy grin and waved. Figuring he was going to being there for a while, he decided to do something constructive with his time. Being as annoying as possible. He started by sitting down cross legged in the middle of his cell and singing the alphabet as loudly as possible in as many different languages as possible. Including those not from Earth

* * *

"Jack watch out!"

A Weevil launched itself a Jack's face. He quickly took it down with a jab from the stun gun leaving it sleeping not so peacefully on the floor.

"Thanks Gwen. Give us a hand getting it to the SUV."

"Ianto isn't going to be happy about this."

Jack didn't reply. Probably because the Weevil was heavy and he had just picked it up. More likely that he had thought the same thing and was thinking of what Ianto would do if Weevil blood, or their blood, stained the seats or the carpet.

He shuddered and strapped the Weevil into the back seat. The drive back to the Hub was silent.

When they got to the Millennium Center the tension that had built up was so thick you could cut it with a knife. As they passed Ianto in the Tourists Office they tried to act normal. Tried being the key word in that sentence. Ianto automatically assumed the worst and went to check on the SUV. Jack and Gwen looked at each other, gulped, and ran down to the Hub.

"JACK! GWEN!" An irate voice screamed. Jack and Gwen stared at each other and dove for cover. It didn't work. Ianto caught them halfway down the tunnels and dragged them to the Boardroom. Half an hour later, Jack and Gwen emerged pale, jumpy and looking thoroughly worse for wear. Ianto emerged five minutes later with a smug look on his face. Clapped once, and went down to the archives. A normal day.

Mickey Smith busied himself at his computer, trying to hide a laugh. Ianto could be vicious if you messed up his precious SUV. Ruthless. Then something on his screen caught his attention.

"JACK!"

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"Luke, have you done your homework yet?"

"Finished it Mum."

"Okay Luke, you can go round Clyde's now."

"Bye Mum!"

"Bye Luke!"

Sarah-Jane smiled from the top of the stairs. She had never expected to be a Mum, but she was enjoying it. It wasn't all milk and cookies however. Especially with a son as special as Luke.

Everyone thinks that their child is special, but Luke was. Created by alien, as part of an attempt to take over the world, he saved the world on the day he was born. He was incredibly smart and with a memory to match. Luke was special. But he knew nothing about the real world, how to fit in, he had no social skills. His friend Clyde, was willing to help though. So were Maria and Rani. Unfortunately Maria was stuck in America. And was missed very much. All of them helped Sarah-Jane defend the planet from Alien life forms intent on invasion, and help those, in need.

As the door shut Sarah-Jane heard the familiar whoosh, and fanfare of Mr. Smith. She raced into the attic.

"Sarah-Jane. I have discovered something you may find interesting."

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The Doctor sat in his cell, singing nursery rhymes while trying to hide a grimace. Who knows what they were doing to the TARDIS for her to be broadcasting on psychic frequency this loudly. His bond with the TARDIS was multiplying it inside of his head, and he was sure that unless she stopped soon he would probably slip into a coma. Or worse.

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"JACK!" Mickey yelled, "COME HERE!"

"WHAT!"

Jack, Gwen, Martha, and Ianto ran to the computer.

"What is it?"

"The computer is picking up a strong psychic distress signal." He turned to Jack, "I didn't even know we could pick up psychic signals."

"We can't, unless……"

Mickey, Jack and Martha looked at each other and paled. Gwen and Ianto, still looking completely confused.

"But that means……."

"Means WHAT?"

"Most of this technology was salvaged from TARDISs." Jack explained. "And all the TARDISs are linked."

"But I thought that there was only one TARDIS left." Gwen said, still puzzled, "The Doctors."

"Exactly."

"So for that to be broadcasting a strong distress signal…." Ianto started,

"The Doctors in trouble!" Martha practically screamed.

Jack set Mickey onto tracking the signal and went to his office. He sat down at his desk and stared at the tiny TARDIS growing on his desk. Martha stormed in and started to yell at him.

"WHY ARE YOU SITTING HERE DOING NOTHING, WHEN THE DOCTOR IS IN TROUBLE!"

"Because I don't know what to do."

"WHAT?"

"There is nothing I can do. We don't know where he is, why his TARDIS is broadcasting that strongly, we don't know what got him in trouble in the first place. WE KNOW NOTHING!" He banged his fist down hard on the desk. "AND BECAUSE WE KNOW NOTHING, THERE IS NOTHING WE CAN DO!"

Mickey knocked on the door.

"Not anymore. We found him Boss."

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"Mr. Smith, what is it?"

"I am picking up a strong psychic distress signal."

Sarah-Jane went to grab her jacket off of the chair.

"What from, and where?"

"The signal seems to be originating from a TARDIS in….."

The rest of the sentence was lost as Sarah-Jane fell over a chair, and knocked several alien artifacts off of a table.

"A WHAT?"

"A TARDIS."

"Can you be sure?"

"I am 99.9% sure that it is a TARDIS broadcasting the distress signal."

Sarah-Jane ran to the phone,

"Where is he?"

"At the Torchwood Estate in Scotland."

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At exactly the same time in London and Cardiff,

"SCOTLAND!"

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"Get in the SUV, we're going on a road trip"

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"Luke, get Clyde and Rani. We're going to Scotland."

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"Well at least we know WHO has the Doctor." Mickey commented cheerfully. "Being in the Torchwood estate and all, I'd say a pretty fair guess is that Torchwood two has him."

"All the more reason to rush then!" Jack replied, not so cheerfully. "They aren't going to recognize the TARDIS as a sentient being so it is most likely in pain, which is why the signal is so strong. Now the Doctor, they may or may not do anything to him. But, even if they don't, he is going to be kept in the estate somewhere. Not near the TARDIS in case he escapes, but somewhere in there. Now that is still closer than Cardiff. A lot closer. And it was strong in Cardiff. The Doctor is psychic, so he's going to pick it up, and his bond with the TARDIS is going to make the signal stronger. He may have a Time Lord brain, but even that is going to overload it. Several times most likely. And if they do, do anything to him, chances of survival are slim. And they probably will. The Doctor is still an enemy of that Torchwood, and the chance to examine a Time Lord will be an irresistible opportunity for them."

"So…" Martha summarized, "If we don't get there soon, either way, he's going to die."

"Yup" Jack replied popping the p.

"So what are we waiting for, speed limits, STEP ON IT!"

* * *

A similarish conversation was taking place in Sarah-Jane's car.

"So we're going to Scotland, at a ridiculously high speed, to save The Doctor, who is a time traveling alien, you used to travel with, from a secret organization called Torchwood, who was responsible for the Cybermen and the Daleks invading last year."

"Yes."

"If it was anyone but us, this would sound really unbelievable."

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Meanwhile, in Scotland,

"Doesn't he ever shut up?"

"You know, I don't think he does."

"This wouldn't be so bad if the tranquilizers would work!"

"Stupid alien."

"Why did we have to be the ones chosen to guard him!"

"Look at it this way, another hour, and he's someone else's problem."

"It's going to be a LONG hour."

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"Are we nearly there yet?"

"No, we're not nearly there yet."

"Are we nearly there yet?"

"No, we're not."

"Are we nearly there yet?"

"No."

"Are we nearly there yet?"

"No."

"Are we nearly there yet?"

"NO."

"Are we nearly there yet?"

"FOR THE LAST TIME MICKEY, WE ARE NOT NEARLY THERE YET!"

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"LAND, SWEET LAND!" Rani falls out of the car, and starts to kiss the floor.

"Oh come on. My driving wasn't that bad!" Sarah-Jane exclaimed, "I was just fast! I have a friend to save!"

"You're no good to him dead!"

"I'm not dead!"

"You nearly were! I don't think that poor lorry driver will ever recover! Cars aren't meant to do that! Not at any speed!"

Clyde and Luke got out of the car shaking.

"Mum, isn't standing here debating how good a driver you are with Rani, wasting all of the time you were driving so badly to get."

"Good point, lets go!"

Sarah-Jane gave her sonic lipstick to Clyde and quickly showed him how to use it. Then she walked up to the front door. Luke got back into the car and stayed hidden, so if his Mum got into trouble he would be able to get help. Rani and Clyde looked for a back entrance, so that they could sneak in and look for The Doctor. Instead they ran into Jack and his team.

"Who are you?"

"We're Torchwood kid, what are you doing here?"

Rani and Clyde looked at each other, and then bolted back the way they had come. Jack and his team chased them.

"Sarah-Jane, it's Torchwood, they found us!"

Sarah-Jane came back from the doors and looked the way they had run from. When she saw Jack she burst out laughing. So did Jack. Rani and Clyde looked at each other then said

"Are we missing something?"

Luke got out of the car.

"Hi Jack!"

"You know him?!"

"Yeah! Remember when there were the 26 planets in the sky and the Daleks."

"Yes."

"Him, Mum, Martha, Mickey and The Doctor saved us all."

"So he's a good guy…."

"Yup."

"Who works for Torchwood."

Here Sarah-Jane butted in.

"Different Torchwood."

They discussed many different ways that they could save The Doctor, and eventually ending up on this; Jack and Ianto would go up to the front door and ask for him back. Some say the simplest plan is the best. None really though that this would work. The rest would be split up into two teams. Sarah-Jane, Martha, Luke and Clyde were one team, Mickey, Rani, and Gwen were another. They would each infiltrate the mansion, look for the secret entrance to the Torchwood facility, get The Doctor and the TARDIS and get them to safety. Sounds easy. Something was bound to go wrong.

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**_Me:_** Whooo! Another cliffy! You're all going to kill me! Especially because I'm going to finish **Spectre** before this! (My Danny Phantom fic.) And that will take me a while! And I'm running out of ideas for what to do next. Read and Review please! Send in any ideas that you have!


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